A Perfectly Reasonable Grievance
By Dan on Nov 27, 2007 in Blog, nonsense
What’s wrong with this picture? See it?
Here, let’s get a closer look. Now do you see it?
That’s right, the plastic ring has been left on the gallon of milk.
It’s a pretty nifty little device, that ring. It’s called a tamper-evident cap, in case you didn’t know. As long as the ring is attached to the cap, you can pretty much feel good that no one contaminated the contents while it was sitting in the dairy case. But once you get the milk home and open it, you really should discard the ring. Oh sure, some people save them and use them to keep pairs of socks together so they don’t get separated in the wash, but that’s a little too Heloise for me.
What happens if the ring isn’t removed? That’s a good question. And the answer is, not much. At first!
When the jug is still relatively full, the ring will remain in place. But, when you get to about the half way point and you have to tilt the jug at a steeper angle to get the milk to pour, then you can be sure that gravity will take over and that ring is going to slide right off and into the cup. Every gawdamn time and always when I’m the one . . . pardon me.
Okay, it may not seem like a big deal, but consider this. You go fishing around the cup of milk to get the ring out, and you know what’s on your fingers? That’s right, germs. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention don’t release statistics on how many people contract a communicable disease each year from bacteria that was introduced into pasteurized milk during the retrieval of the plastic safety ring, but rest assured, if Sally Struthers ever got wind of it, she’d be weeping faster than you can say Campylobacteriosis.
Fortunately, this hasn’t become the epidemic that it might because most right-thinking people throw the ring away when first opening the jug. But others don’t. Maybe somebody in your family. Maybe somebody in mine.
And forget the health concerns for a second, it’s just so damn frustrating to have that ring fall into the damn sippy cup when it doesn’t have to happen. How long does it take to remove it and throw it in the garbage? Ten seconds? Twenty if you decide to throw it in the recycle bin out in the garage? Hardly a huge time commitment. But no, you’d rather jeopardize our kids health and drive me straight up the. . .
Really, it’s not a big deal. I don’t know why I even bothered to blog about it. Just leave the ring on the milk jug. I’ll take care of it like I always do.
Loading ...
Dan-
Phenomenal post, my friend. When I was growing up, my brother always left the ring on, and inevitably I was the one who had to deal with it. I hate that. It was like a contest around my house to drink the milk down to the level where the ring would fall off, and then leave the jug for me. No one would drink milk for a week once it reached that level. Then, sure enough, I’d break down to wet my cereal, and the damn thing would slide right off into my Fruit Loops.
I used to loathe the plastic ring, but now I just don’t drink milk.
John | Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Another thing wrong with the picture: It’s skim milk.
Anonymous Communist | Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Dan,
Everybody has similar problems. A little tip to help prevent such misdeeds; a broken car antennae.
Upon noticing the transgression, merely chase the offender around the home whacking away with the broken antennae at the buttocks (the bigger the better) until tender and red. Repeat as necessary. Soon you should have the desired results…….or you will be in jail. either way, problem solved.
Your pal,
Dr. Phil Landers-Abby
Dr. PLA | Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
I’m not 100% positive, but I don’t think the caps and rings from milk jugs are recyclable. Can we get a ruling from Will? We go through six gallons of milk a week at my house, so if they ARE recyclable, I’ll feel really bad.
Our cat loves those rings, btw, so I guess we recycle them in our own way as toys.
nancy | Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
I’m too lazy to throw away the ring and so is everyone else in my house. So, here’s my technique: while pouring the milk I use my index finger (on my pouring hand) to hold the ring in place.
Also: Nothing wrong with skim A/C! I made teh transition 20 years ago and I’m probably 50 pounds lighter for it.
Also II: The rings and caps are recyclable (at least my blue box emptier takes them).
Dave | Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Before removing the cap, I use a fork prong to snap off the ring. Voila. Maybe you can pass along that hint to your wife, er, whomever left off the cap.
Kath | Nov 27, 2007 | Reply
Just buy half-gallons, problem solved. Of course, you may spend a little more in the long run, but that irritating ring will not pose a problem for you. Of course, come to think of it, those half-gallons can be a pain in the ass to try to pry open and god forbid if you try to open it on the wrong end, the unmarked end !
Screw it Dan, just buy a damn cow.
Chaz
Chaz | Nov 28, 2007 | Reply