We’ve all heard the story about Van Halen’s contract rider demanding a bowl of M&Ms with the brown ones removed. And we all assumed that it was a bratty request from a bunch of pampered and drug-addled rockers who made it just because they could. But if you read Brian Mackey’s article about state fair contract riders, you’d know that like Paul Harvey always told us, there’s always "the rest of the story."

It seems that Van Halen, in their all out pursuit of riches, were one of the first bands to bring a major rock act to third-tier markets. As such, they had concerns that these venues could handle their needs.

Would the stage be able to support the tonnage of equipment?

Would the electrical system be able handle the required voltage?

Would the docking bays be large enough to fit David Lee Roth’s ego?

VH management had to be sure that the production could be accommodated, so their needs and specifications were spelled out in detail in the contract. And the anti-brown M&M amendment was thrown is as a tell. If they arrived and saw the banned candies amidst the reds and the greens, then the crew knew that venue management hadn’t read the contract carefully. And if they missed that, then they may have missed something else that could have disastrous results.

This isn’t a unique strategy, however.

I remember as a lad watching a 60 Minutes segment on the military. A drill sargent was vicously berating a recruit for the lack of shine on his shoes: "What the hell?" I thought, but didn’t say. And then the interviewer asked what I was thinking, "Who gives a frog’s fat ass if the dude’s shoes are shiny?" (He may have worded the question differently; my memory fades.)

The sargent replied that, like the brown M&Ms, the shoes were a tell. If a soldier wasn’t diligent enough to attend to a simple task such as shining his shoes, how could he be trusted to operate heavy artillery. Attention to detail matters and if the little things are addressed, then most likely the important things will be as well.

I still don’t like Van Halen and despise them for defiling the Kinks, but this story did give me a bit more respect for their management team. And I’d never want to enlist, but I could use some of the discipline that the military specializes in.

And that, my friends, is a blog post.