I’ve no writing to promote this week, but if you have any ideas for feature stories I could pitch to the paper, let’s hear it.
Trifectas for the Delusional

Have you ever noticed how celebrity deaths always happen in threes . . . and twos and sevens and ones and fours. It’s almost as if they’re random [...]

Usually when my column runs on a holiday I’m oblivious to the fact and instead write about something stupid. But this week I saw Father’s Day coming and wrote appropriately. Here’s to all you non-deadbeat dads.

Speaking of Father’s Day, here’s a picture of my haul. Homemade cards and contraptions. The good part, it didn’t cost [...]

Self Endorsements
My column last week was my first ever to be syndicated. Although I’m proud of this piece, apologies must be extended to the people of Norwood, Mass, who were assaulted with this.
Were I ambitious, I would take the signature line from this column (Today, I will wear my underpants backwards!) and turn it into [...]

Take Our Beer, Please

Qik-n-EZ is advertising a special for lovers of imitation, beer-like beverages. Coors Light is selling 18-packs for $10.99 with, get this, a $7 mail-in rebate offer. Not accounting for the devaluation of the dollar in the time it takes for the rebate check to arrive, that comes to $3.99 per 18-pack or [...]

Don’t be a boor
My column this month is on practicing etiquette in everyday situations. The proper thing for you to do, gentle reader, after carefully considering my words, is to write a comment congratulating the newspaper for publishing such wisdom and suggest that your life has been made the better because of it and perhaps [...]