Your answers.

1 – This shag-topped actress sang a jaunty jingle about chicken and Wessonality. Florence Henderson – Note to Russ: her hairstyle was commonly referred to as a shag. Very popular among Bay City Rollers.

Bonus
He appeared on a billboard advising women to "Get a Mammogram, Man!" Bart Simpson – That wily, pro-woman, health conscious scamp.

Trifectas for the Delusional

Have you ever noticed how celebrity deaths always happen in threes . . . and twos and sevens and ones and fours. It’s almost as if they’re random events completely unrelated to each other in any logical respect except in the imaginations of the extremely impressionable. God, it’s so eerie.

Potent Quotable

To mother, on his return from a birthday party at Skateland South:

"I’m really good at skating. I just fall down a lot," V. Naumovich

Baseball: It’s Not That Bad

After the skate party we took in a Slider’s game courtesy of the ole company store. Despite promises of all the free hot dogs and drinks they could stomach, the kids were not excited about this outing. After about a half hour at the park, I didn’t think we’d make it to the ceremonial opening pitches.

Once the game started, however, something strange happened. They settled in and took a genuine rooting interest in the goings-on out diamond’s way. Maria, the most ardent pre-game descenter, was particulary interested in learning the rules and strategies of the game as the action unfolded before her. We made it all the way to the seventh inning before being frightened away by lightning.

I’m on record as not being much of a baseball fan but I’ll admit to enjoying the game as well. It helped that they scored many runs, although we missed the two homers while replenishing with food stuffs. A group of visiting high school students – in town helping with a Habitat house and bunking at Little Flower’s gym – kept things lively with their good-natured antics. The race-confused, alcohol-abusing loud mouths behind us, however, sent us seeking tranquility down the opposing baseline.

Viva Le Futbol

I’d be remiss about saying anything good about baseball without tempering them with a few words about soccer. You’re probably not aware, and clearly do not care, but the U.S. men’s national team’s victory over Spain last week was incredibly momentous. If we were baseball fans, this would have been occasion for tipping automobiles or dragging the sofa from the porch to the street and setting it ablaze. (Yes, I’m aware of the rowdy, oft-times murderous behavior of soccer fans. Indulge me my prejudices.)

Trivia Is Not Trivial

Speaking of the ugly side of competitive endeavors, like many of you Facebookies I’m quite involved with the Know It All trivia series. And perhaps like you, I’ll look and see how I’m doing in the standings against my friendly competitors. I admit that if I’m trying to improve my record against a particular player that I’ll stick to those subjects on which I’m strong. What I won’t do is retake a quiz to improve my score.

I’ve noticed on a couple of occasions that someone who I initially bested on a quiz had somehow, days later, wrestled the victory away from me. The only explanation for this I can think of is that, armed with the correct answers, they retook the quiz. I won’t name names (not you, Johann), but the purveyor of this despicable practice should know that I’m on to his monkeyshines.

Speaking of trivia, response to the latest BFS challenge has been dismal. I usually won’t post results until I get at least ten entries, but we may not reach that level of participation this time. This confirms my suspicion that nobody reads blogs anymore and are instead satisfying their trivia jones on Facebook where they are cheating.

Heard About Your Band

When touring bands stop in Springfield, they normally start their performance at or near the eight o’clock hour. A reasonable time for the concert going crowd.

Local bands start much later. An act headlining a three o’clock bar may not take the stage until well after midnight. This scheduling costs them a segment of the music-loving demographic, most notably, me. But even those with the ability to stay awake past 11:00 might be more amenable to an earlier starting time so that they can enjoy the music and then go out and do whatever it is people who aren’t sleeping do at three in the morning.

Tammy went to see a band, the Graduate, last evening and I would have liked to have heard them as well. But I’m wise enough to my ways to realize that after an entire day shuffling the kids around and then an evening at the ballpark, that slumber could not be denied. It’s sad, really.

Speaking of music, I’ll be back later this week to promote the American Music Show, year after year, the finest lineup of music that Springfield has to offer.

The contest is over and AC would have finished with a perfect score had I not cranked it up to a 11. He missed the first one, but then easily cruised to victory. Laura made a last minute comeback to finish in second with eight.

The rest:

Brian  7

LFS   7

Russ  7

MB   6

Yellowdog  4

1. This slick deejay from the 70s often made mention of a “sexy-voiced secretary.” Rich Styles (I’m pretty sure that’s his real name, just as Rik Blade was christened thusly at birth. Only LFS knew this one.)

2. Crossover media sensations Larry Tate and Don Trello both write for the SJ-R, while hosting this afternoon sports talk radio show. TnT (Endlessly entertaining, even for a non-baseball guy like me. Kaboom, indeed.)

3. After Andy skipped town, he hooked up with Josie. He’s arguably the funniest person* currently on the Springfield radio airwaves. Johnny Molson (Everyone knows Johnny. Russ even knows his real name. He really should change his name to Johnny Wholesome.)

4. A graduate of Southeast, he worked locally at WFMB and WICS, before hitting the big time with CNN and ESPN. He has since faltered. Fred Hickman (Flip Spiceland followed a similar path to the national airwaves, but he never worked at ESPN.)

5. This local singer/songwriter keeps tabs on the local music scene in his weekly column for the Illinois Times. Tom Irwin (A really nice guy and a friend to local music lovers.)

6. In the 80s, after the gridsters  hung up their cleatsters, it was time for the hoopsters and the spikesters to hit the courts.  Who was the former WICS sportscaster with the annoying jockster vernacular? Drew Smith (Given the frequency in which TV people come and go, it’s not surprising that only one person (AC) knew this. Still, Drew was a special kind of annoying and I thought that would have immortalized him in the local sports scene.)

7. Fans of the Illini and their used-car-salesman football coach know this sportswriter who is currently covering the U of I beat for the SJ-R. John Supinie (No one commented on the editorializing in this question. I guess you all agree.)

8. She was community affairs director at WICS before finding her true calling: selling impossible dreams of wealth to the lower class in exchange for their last dollars. She’s currently the director of the Tennessee Lottery. Rebecca Paul (She was wise to leave TV. I’ve read that she’s made a bundle in the Lottery racket, without ever scratching at ticket.)

9. His SJ-R column, which ran in the City/State section and was usually comprised of a series of items covering everything from politics to the minutiae of daily life, ran for over three decades until his retirement in 2004. Toby McDaniel (An iconic figure in local media. How Yellowdog missed this, I’ll never know.)

10. This cyclopsian-monikered firebrand once ruled over the AM morning drive time. He’s now in the barbeque racket. Donald “One-Eyed Jack” Jackson (Everyone knew this was as well. I’m surprised that he hasn’t made his way back on the radio yet.)

11. Before Julie Kaiser and that guy with the weird last name began writing the weekly column for the SJ-R’s Sunday A.M. section, she occupied that space for several years. Chris West (On more than one occasion, while commenting on one of my columns, a person has made it a point to tell me how much they loved Chris West. I caught their meaning.)

Paco and AC came out on top with nine each. If you were to institute a tie-breaker, I guess AC would get the nod because he spelled all of the names correctly.

UPDATE: While posting the answers, Mike T responded with nine correct as well. He’ll share the crown with Paco and AC.

As for the rest:

Brian – 8

M.B. – 8

Laura – 7

Russ – 7

Johann – 6 (Special recognition goes to Johann for using alliteration to phrase his non-answers.)

1. This golfer, who won 82 PGA tour events, was born within six months of two other golfing greats, Ben Hogan and Byron Nelson. Sam Snead (Placing him as a contemporary of Hogan and Nelson was a big hint.)

2. This former U.S. senator helped the Knicks win their first NBA championship. Bill Bradley (Everyone knew this. If only he had been as popular with the national electorate.)

3. Born in Champaign, she won five gold medals and one bronze in Olympic speedskating. Bonnie Blair (Your love of women’s speedskating is apparent as you all knew this one as well.)

4. A graduate of the University of Notre Dame, this defensive end lasted only two weeks in the CFL in 2000, but eventually caught on in the NFL and was named to the 2005 Pro Bowl. Bertrand Berry (I was going to apologize for this question as it was about to be the first in this trivia series to draw zero correct answers. But then Paco swept in at the wire and nailed it. It should be noted that Paco is an ND grad.)

5. Born in the Netherlands, this former AL rookie pitcher of the year played for the Twins, Rangers, Pirates, Indians and Angels. Bert Blyleven (I thought this might have been more difficult, especially after Russ blanked on it. Everyone else knew it.)

6. This American League umpire worked four World Series, somehow being selected for the 1991 series after totally screwing up in 1985. Don Denkinger (No one has been able to forget Don. Surprisingly, some hardcore Redbird fans have forgiven him.)

7. This popular sports columnist left Sports Illustrated in 2007 to work for the totally unreadable ESPN the Magazine. Rick Reilly (Everyone has read Reilly at some point, but I stand by my comment that the ESPN rag is a mess.)

8. A former number-one ranked tennis player in the world, he won 11 grand slam events in his career. Bjorn Borg (I thought, given the theme, that this would be a gimme. I forgot about Arthur Ashe and Boris Becker. Still, true tennis fans knew that those two didn’t come close to Bjorn for grand slam wins.)

9. A three time WNBA MVP, she played collegiately at USC. Lisa Leslie (I posted this quiz on a different forum and was amazed at the animosity people have for the WNBA. You must all be fans because you all knew this one, even Brian.)

10. This NFL quarterback turned Pro Bowl punter scored the first two point conversion in NFL history. Tom Tupa (The second toughest question on the board. Only AC and MB pulled it out.)

Thanks for playing. Come again.

Again, your answers won’t appear until the contest has ended. Good luck and don’t Google.

1. This golfer, who won 82 PGA tour events, was born within six months of two other golfing greats, Ben Hogan and Byron Nelson.

2. This former U.S. senator helped the Knicks win their first NBA championship.

3. Born in Champaign, she won five gold medals and one bronze in Olympic speedskating.

4. A graduate of the University of Notre Dame, this defensive end lasted only two weeks in the CFL in 2000, but eventually caught on in the NFL and was named to the 2005 Pro Bowl.

5. Born in the Netherlands, this former AL rookie pitcher of the year played for the Twins, Rangers, Pirates, Indians and Angels.

6. This American League umpire worked four World Series, somehow being selected for the 1991 series after totally screwing up in 1985.

7. This popular sports columnist left Sports Illustrated in 2007 to work for the totally unreadable ESPN the Magazine.

8. A former number-one ranked tennis player in the world, he won 11 grand slam events in his career.

9. A three time WNBA MVP, she played collegiately at USC.

10. This NFL quarterback turned Pro Bowl punter scored the first two point conversion in NFL history.

For some, it’s scaling a mountain summit; for others it’s kicking heroine. As for me, I conquered one of my life’s goals by completing a Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle. I’ve come close many times, even completing it once, only to discover an error. But this time, I was perfect. Granted, it was fairly easy for a Sunday puzzle. There was only one word I’d never heard of (Ypres – a city in Belgium), and the theme was pretty straight-forward. But none of this distracts from my feeling of triumph. Does this make me a nerd?

As Sure as the Moss Grows in Killarney

Enjoy the warm weather while you can. Next Saturday is the St. Pat’s Day parade, an event that annually lures  cold fronts down from Canada and sends temperatures plummeting. We always have temps in the 50s and 60s during the week leading up to the parade, only to have them pulled out from under us by the time we take our place on the 5^th Street curb. So predictable is this phenomena that my dad is making a batch of chilli next Saturday, a dish he only makes in chilly weather.

Lights That Flash in the Evening

The weather outside will be inconsequential after the parade, as Justin Townes Earle (Steve’s boy) and Jason Ringenberg take the stage at the Hoogland as part of the Bedrock 66 concert series. You may be familiar with Ringenberg from his Jason and the Scorchers days. I’m less familiar with Earle, but I’ve been listening to songs on his MySpace page and he does a mandolin-accompanied cover of the Replacement’s “I Can’t Hardly Wait,” of which I highly approve.

Speaking of hot shows at the Hoogland, Sarah Borges and the Broken Singles released their first single and two non-album tracks as an EP on iTunes last week. The album will be released later this month. It’s more indie-rockier than previous cuts. Their supporting tour hasn’t been announced yet, but I’ll post when they get near to thee.

A Plea of Redemption/A Call for Justice

Last week I was rightly taken to task by Yellowdog for being part of a team that purchased mulligans* at a trivia contest. I defended myself by stating, correctly mind you, that it simply isn’t possible to win without them if they are offered. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel dirty about it.

Mulligans, even more than vague or inaccurate questions/answers, are threatening the sport that I love. Organizers simply must find another way of raising additional funds without sullying the sanctity of the contest. I may have to resort to the most radical form of protest against social ill currently available to us. That’s right, I’m starting a Facebook group: Citizens For the Purity of Trivia Nights. Join the fight, won’t you.

Krauthammer

While I remain liberal on many social issues, this is why my fiscality tends to be conservativy.**

I Am So Not Unconflicted Over Jennifer Aniston

I’ve not been a Jennifer Aniston fan. Most of this stems from her association with the show, Friends, which I abhorred for its one-note characters, base sexual innuendo and the gross cliche-ing of the word "so." She also ended up on the wrong side of a tiff with Angelina. I am nothing if not loyal to Angelina.

Yet my Aniston aversion has softened as of late. She appeared in two movies that I really like, Office Space and The Good Girl, and although she wasn’t really the reason I like those movies, she did bring something to her roles.

The other reason I’ve come to admire her more is because she is popping up quite frequently in magazines and on Web sites and, quite frankly, she looks amazing. The problem is, that seems to be the entire point of her celebrity at this point.

I don’t recall accolades for any recent performances, but the press is relentless in telling us how incredible she looks. There’s that, and her courage in the face of being perhaps the most celebrated female cuckold of all time.

It’s pretty amazing how her publicist has been able to keep her on the A list and the covers of supermarket tabloids.

Saturday Chore Watch

Hats off to my kids for picking up twigs and pieces of bark from the yard and putting them in a yard waste bag. Then pouring the bag into the wagon. Then dumping the wagon into the yard. Thanks for the effort.***

*For those not familiar with this practice, teams are allowed to purchase a set number of mulligans (usually ten) which are used in lieu of correct answers to win points on difficult questions. As I posted on Facebook: "they’re bullcrap. Imagine facing fourth and long on your on 25 and being able to buy yourself a first down. Or if your worst free-throw shooter gets fouled in the waning seconds of the game and you can decide to just purchase the winning buckets. Who could be proud of that. It’s a g-d travesty. Pure, unadulterated greed and it’s ruining trivia nights across the country."****

**Our previous administration wasn’t good at this either, so offering up their record as a defense for the current is no defense.

***Victor did go on to put in a good day’s work and earned five points towards the 30 needed for a new DS game.

****You know you’re important when you can quote yourself.

I want the name of the band, not the name of the drummer, although you can throw that in if you’d like.

As always, play fair and chump-free. Your answers will be held in the moderation queue until everyone has had a chance to play. (Johann, submit your answers, dammit.)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Bonus Question

This famous talk show host received a set of drums from jazz great, Buddy Rich. He went on to become a fairly accomplished amatuer drummer.

Here’s how the rest of the field fared:

Brian – 8

Doug D. 7+1

Yellowdog – 7

Gish – 4+1

Looking for Springfield – 4+1

M.B. – 4

Di – 2

Occula – 1

1. Benjamin Braddock  -  Jack Crabb  -  Carl Bernstein

Dustin Hoffman (Benjamin Braddock is the iconic character here. I thought of using Ratso Rizzo instead of Jack Crabb, but thought it was easy enough with Ben.) 

2. Mary Bell  - Gia Carangi  -  Jane Smith

Angelina Jolie (One of the tougher questions on the board. I wasn’t about to give it away with Lara Croft.)

3. Brick Pollitt  -  Henry Gondorff  -  Earl K. Long

Paul Newman (Would Reggie Dunlop have helped? I’m sure Butch Cassidy would have.)

4. Miles Raymond  -  Harvey Pekar  -  Bob Zmuda

Paul Giamatti (I thought this would have been tougher, but 60 percent of you knew this.)

5. Wanda Wilcox  -  Bonnie Parker   -  Evelyn Cross Mulwray

 Faye Dunaway (Wanda  Wilcox is a character in  Barfly, a movie you really should see in honor of Mickey Rourke’s revival.)

6. Idi Amin  -  Charles Jefferson  -  Edward Garlick

Forest Whitaker (Tied with question 8 for easiest. I suspect that Idi gave it away, but I’ll always remember his Fast Times character’s name thanks to Mike Damone: "Earth, Wind and Fire tickets for Charles Jefferson and little brother.")

7. Foxxy Cleopatra  -  Deena Jones  -  Etta James

Beyonce Knowles (I’m not really a Beyonce fan, but she does seem to pop up a lot in my trivia.)

8. Davy Crockett  -  Jacob McCandles  -  Marshall Reuben Cogburn

John Wayne (You know your Duke. Eight out of ten knew this, despite my leaving the "Rooster" nickname out of the Cogburn clue.)

9. Katharine Hepburn  -  Sheba Hart  -  Kate Wheeler

Cate Blanchett (By contrast, you don’t know the work of the beautiful Blanchett. Doug suggested that I use her role in the Bob Dylan psuedo-biopic, I’m Not There, as a clue. I did think of this, but then learned that her character was named Jude, even though she was playing Bob.)

10. Joseph Turner White  -  Scotty J.  -  Lester Bangs

Phillip Seymour Hoffman (He played legendary rock critic, Lester  Bangs, in Almost Famous. Scotty J. is in Boogie Nights. You didn’t know White was in State and Main. I didn’t either, but it was a good movie.)

Bonus

Each question featured a role based on a real-life character. As Russ and Nick pointed out, the Giamatti question had two real-life characters, thus rendering my bonus clue factually incorrect. I’m sorry if that threw anyone.

In today’s edition, I name three characters, each portrayed by the same actor. You name that actor. What could be simpler? Well,  it could be simpler if you Google for the answers, but then you’d be a chump. Plus, there’s no need as this should be the easiest round to date. I predict that at least one person will get a perfect score.

As a reminder to new players, after  you submit your answers they will not be immediately posted to the blog. Responses will be held in the moderation queue until I post the answers.

Good luck.

1. Benjamin Braddock  -  Jack Crabb  -  Carl Bernstein

2. Mary Bell  - Gia Carangi  -  Jane Smith

3. Brick Pollitt  -  Henry Gondorff  -  Earl K. Long

4. Miles Raymond  -  Harvey Pekar  -  Bob Zmuda

5. Wanda Wilcox  -  Bonnie Parker   -  Evelyn Cross Mulwray

6. Idi Amin  -  Charles Jefferson  -  Edward Garlick

7. Foxxy Cleopatra  -  Deena Jones  -  Etta James

8. Davy Crockett  -  Jacob McCandles  -  Marshall Reuben Cogburn

9. Katharine Hepburn  -  Sheba Hart  -  Kate Wheeler

10. Joseph Turner White  -  Scotty J.  -  Lester Bangs

Bonus Question:

What is unique about one role in each of the ten questions?

Russ still got the correct answer, but it’s possible that with the proper profanity in place the quote may have rang familiar to some of you who missed it. For that, I am sorry.

I’ve been letting this stew a little too long, so on to the results.

Nick “Unpainted Huffhines” Rogers is this round’s winner with an impressive score of eight. Since Nick is a professional movie reviewer, I considered giving the rest of the field a two-point handicap, in which case Paco and Russ would have won with their 7+2 scores. But we believe in meritocracy here at BFS so let every player stand on his or her own merit. Congratulations Nick.

The rest of the field finished as follows:

Doug – 6

Laura – 4

Brian – 4

Gish – 3

AC – 2

MB – 2

Occula – 1

As for the answers . . .

“You mocked me once, never do it again — I died that day!”

The Princess Bride (Spoken by Robin Wright as Princess Buttercup. I fell in love that day.)

“Now go home and get your shine box.”

Goodfellas (Russ thought there was a missing profanity in the quote, but I double-checked the script and apparently this was the only line in the film not punctuated by the  f-word.)

“Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.”

Clueless (Cher was the other singer-turned-infomercial star. For its genre, a very good movie.)

“Mind ya don’t cut yourself, Mordecai.”

Raising Arizona (I considered naming one of our sons Mordecai just so I could repeat this line.)

“A cute button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?”

Shrek 2 (I’m surprised that those of you who didn’t know this didn’t come up with some joke answers. It’s ripe for ribaldry.)

“I wrote sixty-three songs this year. They’re all about Joe, and I’m going to play every single one of them tonight.”

Say Anything (“That’ll never be me. That’ll never be me. That’ll never be, never be . . .Don’t you even think it!”)

“Let me have a Diablo sandwich and a Dr Pepper. Make it fast. I’m in a goddamn hurry.”

Smokey and the Bandit (Surprisingly, to me anyway, the toughest question on the board. MB was the only one who knew it. Looking back, it wasn’t a great movie, but Jackie Gleason was great in it.)

“Took me, like, three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It’s probably the best drawing I’ve ever done.”

Napoleon Dynamite (This was the easiest question. I love the unintended suggestion that Tricia was sporting a ‘stache.)

“Where did you get that dress? It’s awful . . . and those shoes, and that coat, geeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz.”

Airplane (Another surprisingly tough one. I had this Johnny-ism down as a gimme.)

“On the run from Johnny Law… ain’t no trip to Cleveland.”

Bottle Rocket (This is another good all-purpose line. Trot it out next time there’s a lull in the conversation.)

Bonus Question:

“Fratin’ house stickel fifer” is one of the many nonsensical profanities uttered by the Old Man in A Christmas Story. I was going to  use “mundane noodle,” but thought it too easy.