The Fourth Best Columnist, At Best

Well, it looks as if I didn’t win Best Columnist in the SJ-R’s Reader’s Choice Awards. When my last column inspired one reader to leave an online comment, I thought I might be able to ride that wave of popularity all the way to the award, but apparently I fell a little short. Congratulations to Bernie Schoenburg, Dave Bakke and Jim Ruppert for narrowly edging me out in what had to have been a close vote. Although it’s entirely possible that I didn’t receive a sigle vote, I prefer to preserve my esteem in delusion.

Uncle Raymond Pulls a Fast One

When I see pictures of Roland Burris, I’m not immediately filled with contempt and disgust, as I am when I see Blagojevich’s lipless visage. In fact, I sometimes feel a bit of pity for Burris, who has the look of a kindly gent. Yet it’s clear that he’s just another self-serving politician who slithered and connived his way into a position he did not merit. He should go, but some other folks have some explaining to do.

All of those who said the Senate should never seat a Blago appointee, and then let themselves be played into embracing Burris as a man of honor, should come forth and say how honorable they think he is now. They had it right the first time, the Senate leadership did, but instead of sticking to what they knew was the right thing, they gave into prejudices and political perceptions.

An Idiotic Front is Descending from the North

I’m not sure who such matters could be taken up with, but I want the word "stupid" to be added to weather forecasts, as in, "it will be windy, cold and stupid tomorrow and into the weekend." The term will only be allowed in February and March when the cold weather has gotten really annoying, and, stupid.

*Apropos of Nothing

Name the song that this lyric was taken from. Then name the sisters who play in the band from whence this song originated. To the winner: A free, lifetime pass to BFS, should this ever become a subscription-only site.

A Face for Blogging

Every now and again I’ll do a Google image search to find out what someone looks like. Usually it will be someone in the media, either print or radio, whose name and work I come across regularly, but who I have never seen in person.

Anyway, I’ll type in their name and whatever pictures show up, especially if it’s a headshot, I assume that’s them. But recently, in an act of egoism, I did an image search of my own name. And one of the first results is a head shot of my wife’s friend Tara. So, should anyone, say maybe a reader of this blog, be curious as to what I look like, they very might well get the impression that I try to pass as a woman.

Your Phone’s Off the Hook, But You’re Not

Last week I happened to look in while the kids were watching one of their kids shows. "Wow," I thought to myself, "that Superintendent Spellman character looks a lot like John Nommensen Duchan, whose heart is made of glory and his voice is made of gold."

I knew that Duchan, aka John Doe, had acted in the past. I remembered him from Roadside Prophets, a counter-culture road movie he starred in with Adam Horowitz, whose voice is kind of squeeky and his chains are made of gold. But clearly Doe, one of the coolest guys in rock and roll, wouldn’t be doing a guest spot on the Wizards of Waverly Place, would he?

Well, the closing credits proved me wrong. That was Doe. I suppose there’s no shame in the TV gig, as long as he keeps putting out songs like this: