Infinitesimal Activism
By Dan on Feb 24, 2010 in Blog
I’m not much for conspiracy theories. I believe the Holocaust really happened, there was no second shooter in Dallas and Paul McCartney is, in fact, dead. But every once in a while I hear a theory floated that just makes too much sense not to consider. Here is one of those:
When Gillette issues a new razor – excuse me, revolutionary shaving system – in the time leading up to the release they systematically reduce the quality of their previous cutting-edge razor. I don’t know if this is true, but it makes sense, doesn’t it. I mean, how many advances can be made in razor technology? How many blades and lubricating strips can be added to stand whiskers up and then mow them down? Maybe the only way to build a better razor is to retrofit its predecessors to suck in comparison.
So there you have it. Let’s appoint a commission and start digging for the truth until Gillette offers us sufficient hush money.
Saturday afternoon Victor had a swim party at the YMCA and I went to do a bit of freelancing at the Home Expo. After finishing my work I picked him up. Driving home we discovered that we were both feeling a bit peckish and I saw an opportunity for a rare outing for the family’s two senior males. A chance to discuss some long-neglected issues that the woman-folk don’t need to know about.
Upon entering the Pint we were told by the hostess on duty that a 45-minute wait awaited us. After initially passing on their offer, we confabbed outside and decided we could get away with a late return home because, dammit, we’re men right? Meek men who rarely leave the house on weekends without the other three kids in tow, but that evening we would make a stand.
After re-adding our names to their waiting docket, a different hostess informed us that we were only looking at a 20-minute wait. Good – I thought, relieved – because we’re dead if we get home after 6:00.
We hit the head and then the bar where I ordered up a couple of beers – root for Vic and a nice stout for myself. No sooner did we have pints in hand then the pretty lights on our paging device began twinkling. Final wait time: under ten minutes.
People, we simply must demand a more accurate accounting of wait time from our hostpersons if we hope to maintain a viable hospitality industry in this country. We’ve reached a critical moment in history; please join the fight.
SICK OF MY SICK
I never like getting sick, but I usually quickly resign myself to it, especially if it’s been going around and I’ve managed to keep it at bay for a while. I mean, who am I to expect never to host a virus?
But the illness that took hold this past weekend made me angry. I’ve been oddly motivated and productive recently, and had many important things to accomplish. But the headache, body aches and sore throat arrested my ability to focus. And the fever-dreaming and hallucinating-like sleep that tortured me throughout Sunday night made me fearful of the next slumber.
So I fought that flu and slayed it with the steely swords from a thousand warriors who . . . and here the metaphor escapes me. And so the blog ends.
*Tell me the movie from which I paraphrased this line and I’ll buy you a car or an ice cream cone.
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Estimating wait times is a total crapshoot anyway, so they really shouldn’t bother. Annoying people that sit around long after they’ve stopped ordering are to blame. As a former hostess, one of our biggest cues was when a table would ask for their check (emphasis THEY asked, not that the server brought it to them) and still, people would sit around for 30 minutes to an hour after settling the bill. I’m sure the hostess at D’Arcy’s erred on the side of caution because if she had told you “15 minutes”, a lot of people would have been all over her at minute 17 if they didn’t have a table.
nancy | Feb 24, 2010 | Reply
I realize it’s a crap shoot. What got me was there were only about six people waiting when she shot us the 45-minute wait estimate. We ended up eating and leaving in that amount of time.
I think the first hostess was at the end of her shift and perhaps a bit spent.
Dan | Feb 24, 2010 | Reply
Nancy, I agree with you in that- regardless of whether the customer asked for it or the staff brought it- if they’ve paid their check, then they should leave, especially at peak times.
That being said, however… and I’m not saying I would condone purposely NOT paying one’s check and simply holding the table, but there have been a couple of occasions in which I have barely had my last bite in my mouth before the waitress came and slapped down the check and, at one place (an eatery here in Springfield that shall remain nameless), literally stood there over me and waited for me to square it up with her right then.
I understand that it’s the “lunch rush”, but holy crapoli. And I also realize there are people who do occupy tables well after they’re done eating, drinking, etc., but I don’t think ALL the blame falls on them. Plus, let’s face it, most restaurants aren’t exactly consistent in enforcing that whole table time thing. The regular customers (you can always tell who they are) and the big spenders (ditto) often seem able to take as long as they choose, be as loud as they want, etc.
From the customer blame standpoint, it’s called common courtesy, something severely lacking nowadays. From the restaurant blame standpoint, it’s called profit-profit-profit. Everything is quantity over quality any more. Regardless, on the whole, I don’t believe one side shares any more or less blame than the other does.
Oh, and Dan, have you tried the 5-blade Gillette Fusion yet? If companies keep making these “improvements” to razors, they’re going to start requiring waiting periods and background checks.
Johann | Feb 25, 2010 | Reply
bonehead!
jeb | Feb 26, 2010 | Reply
So what movie was the title from?
MB | Mar 9, 2010 | Reply
Uh, Paul McCartny isn’t dead, John Lennon is.
Sally Restrepo | May 29, 2010 | Reply
Sally might be on to something. I know I haven’t heard much from Lennon in a very long time.
nancy | Jun 4, 2010 | Reply
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