My Sunday column is barely worth mentioning, as demonstrated by the number of comments (0) it received. I hope to do better some day. I did receive an email from a former telegraph operator who seemed to enjoy it. So thanks, Ernie. “73”

Arresting Development
The Bluths will return in motion picture. Apparently the entire cast of Arrested Development has signed on, save for one unidentified holdout, along with the show’s creators. I know the TV to big screen thing seldom bears fruit, but I just can’t imagine that the collective talent behind one of the greatest sitcoms of all time won’t be able to pull it off. I just hope they don’t take advantage of the less restrictive censorship of the R-rating to have Tobias overcome his never-nudeness.

Real F@*#ing Funny
On the Springfield comedy front, I took in the ADHD Production of Danger Adult Content II at the Hoogland a couple of Fridays past. It was a series of skits by a troupe of local talent that didn’t include Gus Gordon. As a neophyte to the local theatre scene, I didn’t know that was allowed. But they somehow managed and boy did they let the profanities fly.

Mary Young, who sometimes comments here under the fiendishly clever Web moniker “Mary”, starred, along with the inimitable Patrick “the Patrick” Russell, Nancy Cole, Gina DeCroix, Grace Hughes, Connor McNamara, Jeff Nevins, Mac Warren and FM radio’s own, Johnny Molson.

Silly Joel provided musical interludes between skits, with Nick “Mr. Cacciatore” Rogers dropping dope beats behind mad renditions of Billy Joel’s album-oriented-rock songs. The band also groveled mercilessly for donations of beer from audience members, with reported success. I don’t believe that is allowed at a Gus Gordon production.

For me, live entertainment usually means going to hear a band. I’m finally learning to appreciate live theatre and to realize that there’s more going on in Springfield than she just renditions of stage classics.

I’m Saint-Like
This weekend, Patty Redpath and her seven children moved into their Habitat for Humanity home, or as I like to call it, “the house that BFS built.” The dedication was on Sunday and it was a “moving” experience. In all modesty, it is quite satisfying to have pitched in on something that has a huge impact on other people’s lives. I should do it more often.

I Really Screwed Up This Time
They gave me 48 hours, plenty of time to take advantage of the unbelievable deal that I was presented. But I dragged my feet and now it’s too late. So my family will have to suffer all winter long here in the frigid zone and I have no one to blame but myself. Why, oh why didn’t I take the Amish up on their offer?

You may have seen the ad in last Wednesday’s SJ-R. The Amish were offering, free of charge, the popular HEAT SURGE miracle  heater. All I had to do was purchase one of their finely crafted oaken mantels. But no, I put off ordering and the next thing I knew it was Friday and the offer had been rescinded and now my family will freeze. And it’s all my fault.

If by the grace of God the Amish find it in their hearts to extend the offer and run another newspaper advertisement, I swear that I will atone and phone the operators who will be standing by to take my order.

Fun Lunch Tips from the Kitchen at BFS
If you’re like me and getting bored with that salad you have every day for lunch, try tossing some shredded broccoli slaw into the mix. It ups the nutritional count and adds a crunchy texture to the bed of greens. Enjoy!

Hold the Pickles, Hold the Lettuce, Keep the Change, It Won’t Upset Us
McDonald’s has hit upon a novel way to bolster their bottom line during the current economic downturn – shortchanging me.

Twice in recent weeks McD’s staff have taken it upon themselves to round down on the changed owed to me and stick the extra pennies in the company till. A $3.11 breakfast bagel, for which I proffered three and a quarter, netted me only a dime in return. When ordering a single item off of the dollar menu, the clerk first proceeded to tax me on the extra dollar I graciously donated, then decided that I wouldn’t be needing the two cents I had due. Not wishing to hold up the line, I drove forward without protest on both occasions.

The fast-food behemoth estimates that they serve 47 million customers each day. Let’s imagine that they’re skimming the equivalent of two cents American off each order, that’s a cool $940,000 in additional profit, doing nothing more than slightly pissing off their customers under the guise of employee incompetence. Pretty shrewd, Kroc, pretty shrewd.

The iPod Unearths a Gem
Every once in awhile, the random shuffle mode on my iPod will discover a great song that I didn’t know I owned. Last week, it offered up to me Jeff Buckley covering a Leonard Cohen classic widely-known through John Cale’s cover on the Shrek soundtrack. I speak, of course, of Hallelujah. It’s an awesome tune with dark and provocative lyrics, typical of Cohen, who parlayed his prodigious talents, and overcame his average looks, to land Rebecca De Mornay. Buckley, sadly, drowned.

Sometimes, This Blogging Thing Pays Off
Considering all of the joy that this blog spreads, the countless number of people who have been positively impacted by my musings, I’m criminally underpaid for my efforts. But it’s all worth it when a commenter gives me free beer.

Gish, master home-brewer at Red Cobblers Brewery, bestowed upon me a six-pack of sudsy savories last Friday. I’m not particularly good at describing beer by its bouquets, hints of flavor and effervescence. I can tell you that this is no bathtub brew.

My favorite style of beer is pale ale – hoppy and bitter. The problem with some pale ales is that by bottle’s end, they can be a little harsh on the stomach. I’ve always favored Sierra Nevada’s ales because they don’t have this effect. RC’s Artful Pale is similar, and I definitely could drink an entire football game’s worth. Lots of flavor without causing a disturbance.

The Watch Me Pale is similar to the Artful, only less so. Gish says that he cut back on the malt to reduce the calories and alcohol content. For the life of me I can’t figure out why you would want to that, but still, a very nice beverage.

Perhaps my favorite, or at least the most interesting, was the Nameless One. Here I will attempt some brewology and say that this ale has a wine-like acidity that surprises the palate. It’s not really fruity, but it does put me in the mind of Merlot. I really liked this one.

I haven’t tried the Ma & Pa Chapman’s Purely American Bitters yet. Perhaps tonight I’ll catch a bit of MNF and pop it open.

Thanks Gish.

Mexican Breakfast, Anyone?
Gwen Vernon brings the sexy back.