I know, I know, it was starting to get a little scary out there. But I talked to the authorities and they assured me that everything would return to normal soon. We’re not out of the woods yet, but if we hang tight we should get through this in one piece.

What? You don’t worship at the bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale? Well then, I guess you’re ignorant of the calamity that almost befell our fair city.

First, let me say that I enjoy many beers. I’m not exclusive. Just this week some good friends gave me a twelve pack of assorted brews and I’ve been sampling them with great delight. But every beer lover has his/her favorite varietal, the go-to brew that always hits the spot. For me, that beer is SNPA. And (choking with emotion) I almost lost it forever.

It started a few weeks ago when Shop ‘n Save had SNPA on sale (good), but there was a "discontinued" notice on the sales sticker (not good). I noticed that they had started stocking New Belgium product and figured that they were swapping brands. Okay, I thought, a corporate decision, not a good one, but as long as Qik-n-EZ and County Market remain a nectar outlet, I’ll be fine.

Over the next couple of weeks, in the back of my mind I harbored sporadic dreadful thoughts that the local SNPA distributor was going to discontinue the line. But then I’d realize I was just being silly. Everything would be fine. Wouldn’t it?

And then, yesterday, all of my worst fears manifested themselves. I stopped by the Qik-n-EZ, no SNPA. I ran by County Market; the freezer was bare of the best beer known to man. What the hell is going on here?

My mind raced. I began penning the hate letter that I would have to send to someone, anyone. What would I have to bomb, who would I have to kidnap to ransom my beer back into the market!

Today, I turned to the only place I thought might be able to help - Friar Tuck.

I walked back to the cooler, and almost fainted with fright. Their in the Sierra Nevada section was a couple of sixes of Porter and some ESB, but no Pale Ale. Clearly they were clearing out the last remaining stock. My beer was being banished. God help us all.

Lost is a haze, I grabbed something from the cooler, I don’t remember what, and stumbled towards the checkout. I was sure that Armageddon was upon me, but I decided to make one last ditch attempt at survival. "Please, kind sir," I stammered to the store associate, "why has our Pale Ale been taken from us."

He smiled the smile of Jesus - kind, gentle and ethereally paternal.

"My son," he said, "your beer has not foresaken you. A corporate distributor buyout has left the Sierra Nevada brand in disinterested hands. The new distributor deals in liquor only, and is washing their hands of beer. But fear not, a new distributor will lift SNPA from the ashes and soon it will return and again bless us with its goodness."

I fell to the floor weeping. My tears confused the checkout guy, as did the kisses I placed upon his shoes. But I didn’t care. My beer, it would return. There’s call for all to rejoice.

And another thing….

My SJ-R column this week pokes fun at the game of golf. I thought it might raise some rancor, being that golf has been center stage in town all week, but I’ve heard nary a word of protest. It just goes to show that nobody reads my column. Except, Johann. Thanks Johann.

Rereading what I wrote below, I don’t think I was clear on how my quote made it in to the IT.

On Monday I received an email, from an IT staffer, expressing curiosity as to how the blogger night at the ballgame went. This staffer was at the game, but didn’t notice a gathering of bloggers. I responded to the email in the nature in which I felt it was intended.

To: All local bloggers

From: BFS

Re: The current uproar over the blogger item in this week’s Illinois Times’ Cap View feature

This quote, it’s from me:

“Apparently getting bloggers to dress and leave their parents’ basement is more difficult than we thought. Turnout was dismal.”

First, when I wrote that I was being self-deprecating on behalf of my fellow bloggers. I know what the IT’s view of bloggers is so I made a comment that went along with what they were already thinking. And, based on an equally self-deprecating comment that I received in return, I think they knew I was joking. I haven’t met every local blogger personally, but none that I have are of the pantless-in-mom’s-basement variety. That’s why I felt safe in perpetuating the stereotype in a facetious manner.

Second, I didn’t realize that my email exchange with the IT was “on the record.” I thought it was a just a curious inquiry to which I casually replied. No matter though. I don’t feel violated and I hold no grudge against the IT.

Third, turnout to the Slider’s game was dismal. It’s nobody’s fault that they couldn’t make it, but the evening failed to live up to whatever hype was generated in its planning.

Fourth, I thought JeromeProphet was the IT’s favorite blogger. I’m flattered.

Fifth, bloggers object to being called “a gaggle of geeks” (not mine) here, here, and here.

And finally, the Blogger/Illinois Times unity breakfast and date auction scheduled for next Sunday has been cancelled. I think we’re going to invite the Red Hat Society again and then try again next month.

On Wednesday we and three other couples, dear friends all, dined at Jimmy Oh’s, a new restaurant located on Koke Mill in the same development with the Corner Pub. We had a wonderful time and the food was of the delicious variety. I won’t be writing a review of the restaurant, since not everyone let me sample off their plates, but I would like to discuss some policy issues in the hospitality industry.

When we first picked up the menus, we noticed some notices printed at the top.

First, we were informed that all parties of six or more would be charged an automatic 20 percent gratuity. This is not unheard of, although somewhat presumptuous. I regularly tip in the 20 percent range, but the amount should be of my choosing and based on performance. Yet I understand the need to safeguard against misers, especially those dining in packs.

Second, and more disturbing, was the restaurant’s policy of not providing separate checks for large parties. In these post-sawbuck days, most people of legitimate means don’t carry large amounts of cash, relying instead on debit or credit cards. Not providing separate checks creates an awkward situation for the modern diner.

Even if the restaurant allows for multiple payment methods for a single check, there’s still the problem of breaking out the costs and applying them to the appropriate party. This isn’t a task normally associated with a pleasant dining experience.

Before I go further, let me say that this never became an issue at Jimmy Oh’s. Before we had a chance to raise our concerns, the waitress asked if we wanted separate checks, saying it was no problem because she wasn’t very busy. We appreciated her accommodation.

But what if she had been a stickler for regulation; what  would our choices have been?

Well, we could have marched out and over to the Corner Pub for horseshoes and Paninis. That would have been a tad drastic, however, and we were hoping for more refined fare that evening.

We also could have forked over four credit cards and asked the waitress to deduct a one-fourth of the total from each card. We’re good enough friends that I doubt there would have been any quibbling over who ordered the most expensive entrée and who did or didn’t have dessert. However, our Puritan friends from Spaulding were refraining from alcohol and it wouldn’t have been right to have them partially subsidize our vices.

My wife suggested that we put it all on our credit card – we’re receiving triple points on our  Amazon card for a limited time only – and make arrangements for everyone to reimburse us for their given portions  at a later date, but that’s asking me to put a little too much faith in our friendships.

None of these options were pleasing, nor did they cater to our wishes, which is a big part of what the hospitality industry supposes to do.

A few years ago we were in a similar situation at a downtown establishment. At this restaurant, there was no stated policy against separate checks, but the waitress informed us that she was authorized to prohibit multiple billings if she saw fit. And on this night, she decided to hand us a calculator and let us figure out our own tabs.

There we were, a mixed group of couples and singles (and not one accountant among us), trying to decipher the bill and figure out who owed what.  Did you have one beer or two? Who ordered the appetizer? What’s tax on a $15.45 entrée? We aren’t tipping this b****, are we?

By prohibiting separate checks, restaurants are effectively taking a burden off their wait staff and placing it on their customers. That strikes me as quite inhospitable.

I understand that it’s easier for a waitperson to deal with one check than four, but it’s no more burdensome than if we had sat at four separate tables and conversed across space. Should we be put upon for dining communally. I say no!

Let’s put an end to this no separate checks business. We deserve a nice meal and a relaxing night out, without having to do the math.

*Taken from a song thats video features the worst air keyboard playing in the history of the genre.

My wife and kids are going east to visit relatives in Maine and Vermont for a couple of weeks. I’ll be staying home to work, because I love it so.

They’re flying out of Midway Airport on a flight that’s scheduled to depart at 7:15 AM. Rather than leave Springfield at 2:00 in the morning, we thought it best to go up the night before and stay in a nearby hotel. Here’s the problem and where you might be able to offer some advice.

All of the hotels listed on the airport’s Web site are in the $180 to $200 range. We’d like to find something less expensive, but I’m not familiar enough with the area to know where to look.

I don’t mind staying 15-20 miles away, as long as it’s a straight trip to the airport in morning. I don’t want to get in a situation where we might get lost and then have them miss their flight. A low-crime area would be nice as well.

Can anyone offer any advice as to where we might stay?

The first ever Spfldbloggers night at Slider Stadium was a rousing somewhat success. There was a conspicuous absence of bloggers, but those that showed presented themselves well.

I got to sit and talk with Nick, Johann (thanks for the beer) and Shoo for a couple of innings before my children - suffering from fatigue after a day at the water park, coupled with intense boredom - risked getting us all removed from the premises. Still it was fun while it lasted.

Uber-commentors Nancy and Rock were there with their family, but they choose to separate themselves from the common blogger and sit in the elite seats behind home plate.

I don’t know why the turnout of bloggers was so low; the weather was beautiful. I’m sure if Springfield had a professional soccer team, we would have gotten a much better response.