Don’t Shoot! It’s Rennie Stennett

The solution to maritime piracy would seem to be the arming of merchant ships. The method with which pirates board a ship, using hooks and ropes to scale the side, does leave them vulnerable to being picked off or winged. Yet with most solutions that involve fire power, there is a downside, in addition to that of those being shot at.

According to one report I read, some captains are reluctant to have firearms aboard. While acknowledging that they’d come in handy against pirates, they’re concerned about the many days upon a ship when swashbucklers are not a concern.

Life upon a merchant ship can be both stressful and fraught with tedium. Personalities clash and, stuck in close quarters, there’s nowhere to retreat. Apparently, fights between sailors aren’t uncommon and can sometimes get quite violent. As such, access to a gun rack might not be the best idea.

That said, I think there has to be some way to have guns on board for self defense without turning the deck into the OK Corral when some dirty vermin gets caught sneaking an Ace out of his sleeve.

Voguing the Dark Continent

Not that I thought much of Madonna before, but this picture really makes me despise her.

“Hello Edna, darling. I’m going to Africa next week to save a child. No, just one cute one. Listen, since Africa is a continent that is ravaged by wars and genocide, where rogue armies force millions into exile and corrupt generals confiscate foreign aid while their people are besieged by famine, I thought it might be fun to go with a military look. Be a dear and have your people find some designer combat boots and a cute pair of fatigues to go with them. Oh yeah, and see if Giovanni can design me a burkha to wear to my trip to the Middle East next month. Something sheer that shows off my biceps and ass.”

This Should Be Worth Something

I think it’s safe to assume that when someone volunteers to bring the rolls to Easter dinner, their altruism is predicated on the desire not to expend too much culinary capital. In most cases, their efforts will be limited to visiting the bakery of a local grocer, although they might get adventurous and pick up a couple of tubes of crescent rolls and try to figure out how to fire up the Amana.

My wife, on the other hand, takes a rudimentary dinner offering, and, to quote Lugasse, “kicks it up a notch.”

For our Easter feast, Tammy concocted three flavors of homemade rolls: rosemary, flack seed, and garlic with sesame seed. More hearty than flaky, they have a focaccia-like quality that’s quite delectable.  I’m enjoying one right now with my salad, and it occurs to me that they would also make a fine sandwich. That leftover pork waiting at home has just been repurposed.

SHG Expanding Carbon Footprint, Thousands to Be Displaced

News that SHG would be building a new football stadium was met with previously unheard allegations that they recruit football players. Well, that’s not exactly accurate. News that the SHG will be producing a spring musical is also usually met with accusations of football malfeasance.

I’m not naïve to the realities here. There are kids who went through a public elementary school system, sometimes in other towns, who enrolled at SHG primarily to play for a championship-caliber football program. This does present an advantage. But lost in all of cries of woe because public schools can only draw players from within their boundaries is the fact that that isn’t true.

If a former Lanphier basketball star, currently residing in Petersburg, wishes for his son to follow in his footsteps as a Lion, he can arrange that without having to move to Springfield’s northend. The catch is, if I gather correctly, that he’d have to pay out-of-district tuition. Ah, tuition – the same price one must pay to attend SHG.

I realize that not many parents will pay tuition to send their kids to a public school when there’s another they can attend for free (although some will play fast and loose with residency rules to attend a public school of choice.) That some will pay for their kids to attend SHG is a testament to the education that they offer. And at some point, you have to stop punishing a school, through so-called equalizers, for being a good school.

The Shams Rock

I undertook the role of youth soccer coach reluctantly. Victor’s team from last year had disbanded and Tessie expressed an interest in playing as well, so I sent a letter to their classmates’ parents to see if others were interested. In the letter, I volunteered my services to get the team organized and to help where I could, but explained that since my wife works occasionally on Saturdays, I wouldn’t be able to commit to being the coach. I quickly learned that in the realm of youth sports, merely uttering the word coach is akin to signing a binding contract.

Much to my surprise, I’m enjoying myself. Soccer is great because no matter what a kid’s skill level, if they hustle, they can do good things. And while our team, the Shamrocks, is young and inexperienced, they are out there battling hard against teams that look to have forged some birth certificates. It’s quite heartening seeing my young charges giving it their all and I’m sure their efforts are put forth in glory of their beloved coach.

The other two kids are playing this season as well. Maria scored her team’s first goal of the year, the prettiest of her career. Mark played well, but when I suggested that some of the falls he takes are counter-productive and perhaps deliberate, he misinterpreted my concern: “It’s okay. I don’t mind getting dirty.”