A few times each month my wife will work weekend jobs for a local caterer. I won’t mention which one, even though I think they come across quite well in the tale I’m about to tell. You see, others might disagree and think that they are helping to promote a dangerous and sinful lifestyle.
My wife was catering a job one time and told me beforehand that it was a wedding reception, so when she later excitedly asked me to guess what kind of job she was working, I knew immediately there had to be a twist. “Gay wedding!” I answered. Correct, lesbian wedding, to be more precise.
There was nothing scandalous in her excitement. A two-bride wedding is a novel thing, especially here in matrimony-sanctified Illinois, and the entire evening made for a good story that she could share with her friends, most of whom haven’t attended a nuptial of this nature.
They actually held the union ceremony at the beach house prior to the reception, with a minister of some sort presiding. My wife unintentionally took part in the official procession when she offered to help carry up some colored sand that was used as a ritual device. Then it was beer and dancing time, which apparently they were able to do even though there were no men there to lead.
You’re probably wondering, so, yes, my wife did say that she caught some come-hither glances and was even encouraged to hoist a few beers with the ladies. Despite a common misconception, the lesbians didn’t cast any orientation-altering spells on her and she arrived home later that evening with her heterosexuality intact.
Now for the part of the story that might merit some consideration from you.
At one point during the reception, the bride, the one wearing the dress,* gave my wife and her coworker a sizable tip. She expressed her gratitude for their friendly service, and also for the catering company’s willingness to work with them. Apparently she had contacted other caterers previously, but they expressed misgivings when told the specifics of the occasion.
This surprises me. I would think that even if you are a caterer fraught with concerns over alternative lifestyles, that the business person in you would still go for the pay day. I mean really, lesbians deal in the same currency as the rest of us and they generally mean no harm, except when they’re playing roller derby.**
The larger issue here is why anyone would care enough to protest if two women want to ceremonially declare their love for each other.
But this got me to thinking. If I were a caterer, I wouldn’t refuse service to lesbians. But what if the local chapter of the Aryan Brotherhood wanted some canapé and mini quiches for a little soiree honoring their retiring grand wizard,*** would I stifle my disgust of their hateful ways and deliver the appetizers?
What about you?
- If you were an environmentally-minded mechanic, would you repair Hummers?
- If you were a feminist beautician, would you cut Rush Limbaugh’s hair?
- If you were Jennifer Aniston, would you co-star with Angelina Jolie in a remake of Personal Best?
I guess the question is, where do you draw the line and allow personal convictions to influence whom you’ll do business with?
*One of the guests was overheard saying that even though the bride wore the dress at the wedding, she wore the pants in the relationship.
**This isn’t a joke making fun of lesbians, this is a joke making fun of jokes that make fun of lesbians.
***I know, I’m mixing my hate mongers.
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Nothing would make me happier than hacking up Rush Limbagh’s hair and taking money for it.
nancy | May 15, 2008 | Reply
Oh….but I’m not a feminist. Or a beautician. Still, it would be fun.
nancy | May 15, 2008 | Reply
The part you are mistaken on is the currency issue. I have always been told that gays only utilize the 3 dollar bill. Maybe that is why other vendors were reluctant to work with them.
Gish | May 15, 2008 | Reply
Gish, that should be “The Gays”.
nancy | May 15, 2008 | Reply
I have no problems with gay people. I have worked with many and have even gone out drinking with some. They dont bother me one bit.
Now they are a bit quirky. I was driving with a gay co-worker on a sales call in Dallas and he was giving me directions. I asked if I go straight here or turn, he said go forward. Later that week we were in the office on a conference call and he took out his wallet and told me he ironed all of his dollar bills to make them crisp.
Not sure where I would draw the line on the other things. As long as it is not illegal, I would do business with any group, probably.
RickMonday | May 15, 2008 | Reply
You are so brave.
nancy | May 15, 2008 | Reply
It was shocking to me that they were turned down by other vendors–I mean who the hell cares? Plus at the end of the day, the people booking and planning the job (mostly by phone) were not the ones they sent to actually work at the function so they didn’t have to witness it, if they were really that ignorant. I don’t think MOST of the tips that were given out were because they were hoping to get us to play for “the other team”. I think they were just drinking and happy to have friendly service (and who’s to blame them for being happy they were served by women!) It was a pleasure to be
at their ceremony and reception. Cheers to you girls!
Mrs BFS | May 15, 2008 | Reply
“Then it was beer and dancing time, which apparently they were able to do even though there were no men there to lead.”
“I mean really, lesbians deal in the same currency as the rest of us and they generally mean no harm, except when they’re playing roller derby.**”
THAT is why people read this blog. Good job.
M.B. | May 15, 2008 | Reply
This post is sooo gay!
Today’s ruling in California is just the beginning. 50 years from now, people will be tittering (NOT a lesbian term) at the notion that homosexuals were denied the right to marry, much as we do today regarding interracial marriage that was illegal in many places not all that long ago.
Dave | May 15, 2008 | Reply
Nancy,
Have you been watching the Barber of Seville?
Rick,
I’m not sure if a fondness for crisp currency can be directly tied to sexual orientation, although it’s certainly queer behavior.
Gish,
Clever.
MB,
Thank you. I’m partial to the Personal Best line.
Dave,
I agree.
Mrs. BFS,
This post wouldn’t have been possible without your hard work and commitment to graciously serve beer to anyone regardless of age, race, creed or sexual orientation. Okay, the age thing might get you in trouble. I read that Ellen and Portia are going to tie the knot. They’d do well to hire you to cater the reception.
Thanks for commenting,
Dan
Dan | May 16, 2008 | Reply
Re: interracial marriage, I saw the other day where Mrs. Loving died. I always thought they were an aptly named couple. I would have no problem cutting Mr. Limbaugh’s hair, as long as I could stuff an apple in his mouth while doing so. I need peace and quiet while I work, not the yammering of an idiot.
Granee | May 16, 2008 | Reply
Mickey Mantle, greatest switch hitter of all-time. Oh, I’m sorry, wrong blog.
Chaz | May 16, 2008 | Reply
Dan, please allow me to echo M.B.’s sentiment.
Great post.
Johann | May 18, 2008 | Reply
BRAVO!Dan,for this posting… I read your blog always and enjoy it enormously.
This is the first time however that I have commented.
I agree Mrs. BFS. and thank you M.B.
I do find it so interesting as a gay man who has been very happily partnered for ten years and look forward to the day when we have the rights to participate in loving unions, sanctified and protected by the laws that heterosexual people take for granted.
One thing I do know, as many gay men and lesbians will back me up on, is that we would treasure the union of marriage in a way that comes with having been denied the right for too long.
As for the caterer your wife works for, Bravo! to them. I as many of my peers have been discriminated against, victimized by hate and worst of all ignorance of who I truly am, so this blog hit home.
Also if I may in this small forum of friends say… The term always used to identify us as an “alternative lifestyle”, we as people are not a “lifestyle”, we just happen to be of a biologically different sexual orientation, gardening or living on a golf course is a lifestyle.
Also RickMonday… Right on!
Thanks Dan.
Richard
Richard | May 19, 2008 | Reply
Thanks Richard. Just calling ‘em like I see ‘em.
Dan | May 19, 2008 | Reply
As a gay, I have to say that one of the benefits of working for yourself is that you dont have to work for anyone you dont like. This attitude becomes real shitty, though, when people are in small spots with not a lot of variety of attitudinal caterers to choose from. Thats when you get into some, legal areas. Look up that one thing about that photographer in like, New Mexico or wherever.
Desaray | May 23, 2008 | Reply