There’s a little problem with this miniature bread
By Dan on Nov 29, 2007 in Blog, Reasonable Grievance, nonsense
Writing that last post was quite cathartic. Look for A Perfectly Reasonable Grievance to become a regular future here at the all-new BFS.
I was hoping that my pathetic rant would inspire you to share some of your petty annoyances. So in the spirit of collaborative blogging, I’ll just come right out and ask: What is the one peeve that you’re most embarrassed to admit to, but powerless to let go of?
I’ll start.
Although the plastic milk jug ring thing really gets my goat, I’m not really embarrassed by it because I’m right to be annoyed. But there is something that I’m less justified in getting worked up over.
One of the down sides of living an unsheltered life is the indignity and overall repulsiveness of the public restroom. I avoid them when at all possible, especially for those times when paper work is required. I’ll go to great pains to hold off the inevitable until I return to the friendly confines of my bathroom. A friend use refers to it as “home seat advantage”, as in, “I really have to (euphemism for excremental elimination), but I’m holding out for home seat advantage.”
There is plenty you can find not to like about your fellow man when forced to attend to bodily waste matters in close and communal quarters, but one thing takes the urinal cake for me. It’s not even gross, which is why it troubles me that it troubles me so much.
At almost every placed I’ve worked, there has been one person who can best be described as a paper towel hog. After washing their hands, they’ll crank the towel dispenser a good fifteen to twenty times, as foot after foot of brown paper winds out. Why do they do this? Three turns of the crank – or two pulls on the lever, depending on the dispenser mechanism – is all that is required to dry the hands of a normal-sized person. Yet for some reason these people need more paper than it would take to towel-off Delta Burke after a dip in the Mississippi.
I suppose that there is an environmental argument that legitimizes my complaint, but I can’t honestly say that I think about depleted forests when someone unfurls half-a-roll of towel to dry their barely-damp hands. No, what I think of is the mindless excess of it all. But really, why should I care?
And now, you. But first, one of the greatest acts of picking nits ever put to film.
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OK. I’ll go first.
I have two.
The first is my extremely low tolerance for grammar and punctuation errors. In instances wherein the writer should know better — so we’re not talking about the errors small children or non-native English speakers make –I have a visceral reaction to these errors. I feel a deep need to point them out to the author (and have on more than one occasion) and an equally deep need to point them out to anyone who happens to be in my company when I discover them. Although I recognize that an individual’s grasp of the English language is not the sole indicator of his or her intelligence, I secretly think slightly less of prospective mates who comma splice or mix up their “your”s and “you’re”s and exponentially more of those who get it all right.
And no way can I control these urges, Dan. I’ve tried and tried, to no avail.
My second embarrassing pet peeve is my general intolerance for people who try to bullshit their way into cutting in line. Like, “Oh, I didn’t realize the line ends back here and not way up there.” Or, worse, when there are three ATMs and the appropriate thing for everyone to do is wait in a single-file line, first-come, first-served, yet there’s always some clown who tries to act like s/he didn’t realize the rest of us aren’t all waiting for only ONE of the ATMs and tries to walk right up to the first available. Makes me insane. I want to correct them. And — you guessed it — I have.
There you have it in all its ugliness.
Kath | Nov 29, 2007 | Reply
Dan,
First off, let me just say that after reading your post I now know why you & Russ are such great friends. I’ve never heard the phrase “home seat advantage” but have often referred to him as a “fussy pooper” (I’m sure he’ll be thrilled that I have picked this post to comment on!) as the man will go an entire day without using a public restroom whereas I could go in a gas station that looks like something out of Deliverance. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Being a Type A personality, I have lots of pet peeves, but one that I will admit to here is my obessesive need to rearrange the dishwasher if my darling husband has filled it. Being that I’m a better organizer by nature, I will literally take the time to rearrange the dishes & cups so that I can fit more in because he has usually only gotten half of what can actually fit. Is it me being picky (and anal) or is it a better use of water so as not to run the machine more than necessary? You decide…..
Tammy (not your wife) | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Dan,
I’ll have to agree with the first poster on this one. Bad grammar is my biggest pet peeve. In the age of spell check and grammar check there really is no reason for poor grammar in writing. It is the normal everyday conversation where I find people really need to go back to grade school and pay more attention. It’s particularly bad when I have co-workers (not Tammy of course) who use words like “irregardless.” Seriously? Other phrases like “would have went” or “would have ate” have nearly sent me over the edge on occassion. My own husband has even been know to use the word “tooken” on occassion. I think after 7 year of marriage I have finally broken him of that habit! I don’t mind correcting my husband, but I have a hard time correcting my peers or elders. How do you politely tell someone that they sound like a moron in conversation? Any suggestions are welcome.
Steph | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Kath and Steph,
I once shared your compulsion for exposing bad grammar, but I’ve since learned to suffer in silence. It’s so prevalent, at least in writing, that I’ve started giving people the benefit of the doubt: maybe they were in a hurry, maybe they were drunk, or perhaps English isn’t their native tongue, despite the fact that they have no discernible accent. Occasionally I will rise up in defense of the language, but other people’s apathy has begun to wear me down. I do, however, still proofread everything I write, including emails.
Tammy (not my wife),
Russ is right to avoid public restrooms, but you and I do share a dishwasher hang-up. Mine doesn’t concern arrangement, although I appreciate your concern for maximizing the load size, but rather the scraping of dishes before they are put in the machine. My Tammy doesn’t believe it is necessary to thoroughly rinse off food, the result being that when you go to unload, there are dishes embedded with hardened food matter that then need to be hand washed. It doesn’t need to happen. A simple rinse and scrape is all that it takes. But no.
(Please don’t let my wife know about this post, lest she get on here and expose some of my bad habits, whatever those might be.)
Thanks for commenting,
Dan
Dan | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Dan,
I agree with you 100% on the rinsing but Russ will go so far as to let a simple plate “soak” in the sink rather than rinse the dang thing off & put it in the washer! Drives me crazy. But god, how I love his cooking, so I don’t complain (too often).
Tammy
Tammy (not your wife) | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
I have several.
1) I can’t sleep at night if the closet door in my room is open. And I can’t sleep if the closet doors in my children’s rooms are open. They make fun of me for it, but it drives me insane and I really don’t know why. I just like everything in order before I bed down for the night.
2) While I sympathize with your dishwasher organization plight, Tammy, at least Russ gets the dishes to the dishwasher, however haphazardly it may be. My pet peeve is how the dishes can make it to the sink or to the counter but not actually INTO the dishwasher? What is it, another 5 seconds to actually make that transition? God Forbid. And there’s no escaping this peeve – my co-workers are just as guilty as my family. Why leave the janitor with a pile of dishes 3 feet high by the end of the day and render the sink useless for those of us who may want to wash our hands or get a drink of water? Why not just put your damn coffee cup in the dishwasher and be done with it?
3) The third target of my wrath is, sadly, my own children. When they have a drink, they almost never finish it, so it goes in the fridge. But the next time they need a drink, rather than going back to that cup, they’ll just pour another. And take one drink. And then put that cup in the fridge too. Until eventually there’s no room for food, just 25 cups all with one drink taken out of them. And then when I blow a gasket and tell them no more new drinks until old drinks are gone, then they will dutifully finish a cup. And put it back in the fridge, empty.
Laura | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply
Laura,
What’s even worse than simply setting dirty dishes in the sink, is when someone fills the sink with soapy water and then leaves the dirty dishes to soak until someone else comes along to actually wash, dry, and put them away. That little bit of effort on their part actually makes it worse because they think it absolves them of their slovenliness.
Thanks for commenting,
Dan
Dan | Nov 30, 2007 | Reply